Community code

This applies in the chats as much as in the room. Most of what goes wrong in a group of people happens in a message late at night rather than standing in a bar. Same rules, same hosts to tell, whether it's the WhatsApp group, a group on the site, or someone's DMs after an event.

Everyone is welcome, and everyone is somebody's first time. Most people arriving alone are nervous about it. If you've been coming a while, new people take their cue from you, so go and talk to whoever's standing at the edge.

Talk to people, not about them. Disagreement is fine, and usually interesting. Making the other person smaller while you disagree isn't.

Take no for an answer the first time. About joining a game, a conversation, a hug, anything. Nobody owes an explanation and pushing for one is itself the problem.

These aren't dating events. That doesn't mean nothing ever happens here. It means nobody should walk in feeling looked over, and plenty of people do. So if you're interested in somebody, say it or show it once, clearly enough that they can answer, and then leave them the room to answer. Showing it again and again until they react isn't interest, it's pressure.

Don't sell things here. No pitching, no recruiting, no investment opportunities. The one exception is other Room for More events: if you want to tell people about one, ask whoever is hosting first, and if they're fine with it, go ahead. For anything else you think people would genuinely want, ask a host. Anyone who messages you privately about money after an event: tell a host, and don't feel embarrassed, it happens everywhere and it isn't on you.

Ask before photographing, and again before posting. Some people can't be visible online for reasons they shouldn't have to explain.

One friendly message is fine. Read the reply. Meeting someone here isn't consent to be messaged repeatedly.

Look after each other. If someone seems uncomfortable or unwell, find a host. You don't need to be certain and you won't be treated as having overreacted.

Drink if you want, or don't. Nobody's pressured either way and nobody has to explain.

If something goes wrong, tell a host. They'll listen properly and won't make it your problem. Afterwards is fine too.

When this gets broken

Usually a quiet word and that's the end of it. People make mistakes and most correct them straight away.

Where something's repeated after being raised, or where someone's been made unsafe, we'll ask that person not to come back, and say so clearly rather than letting them work it out from a cold reception.

Short version